Wednesday, February 7, 2007
In The New Yorker. Here are some of the better ones. Complete list at the link:
Virgin No. 9: It was a garlic-and-onion pizza. Why?
Virgin No. 14: I’m eighty-four. So what?
Virgin No. 16: Even I know that’s tiny.
Virgin No. 18: I’m saving myself for Jesus.
Virgin No. 20: Don’t touch my hair!
Virgin No. 21: I hope you’re not going to sleep with me and then go sleep with seventy-one others.
Virgin No. 24: Would you mind saying, “Could I see you in my office, Miss Witherspoon?�
Virgin No. 28: It’s so romantic here, dead.
Virgin No. 30: You are in?
Virgin No. 36: Sure, I like you, but as a friend.
Virgin No. 45: When you’re done, you should really check out how cool this ceiling is.
Virgin No. 49: I really enjoyed that. Thank you very much. Gee, it’s late.
Virgin No. 51: What do you mean, “move a little�
Virgin No. 55: That was terrible. I should have listened to the other virgins.
Virgin No. 58: Those are my testicles.
Virgin No. 64: Tonight, I become a woman. But until then you can call me Bob.
Virgin No. 65: They’re called “adult diapers.†Why?
Virgin No. 67: I’m just Virgin No. 67 to you, right?
[h/t: Alex J]
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, p.39
Due to a poor quarter, there will be a 10% staff reduction in Islamic Paradise.
That means there will be only 65 virgins instead of 72.
Those of you who remain will be expected to take up the slack, if you know what I mean.