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Friday, December 10, 2004


Dread Pirate Roberts:

Inhale this, but do not touch.

Vizzini:

I smell nothing.

Dread Pirate Roberts:

What you do not smell is called Iocane powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.

Vizzini:

Hmmmm.

Dread Pirate Roberts: [turns away from Vizzini with the goblets, and pours the poison in. Goblets replaced on the table, one in front of each. ]

All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right...and who is dead.

Vizzini:

But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Dread Pirate Roberts:

You've made your decision then?

Vizzini:

Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.

Dread Pirate Roberts:

Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Vizzini:

WAIT TILL I GET GOING! Where was I?

Dread Pirate Roberts:

Australia.

Vizzini:

Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Dread Pirate Roberts:

You're just stalling now.

Vizzini:

You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Dread Pirate Roberts:

You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.

Vizzini:

IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!

Dread Pirate Roberts:

Then make your choice.

Vizzini:

I will, and I choose-- What in the world can that be?

[Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. Roberts looks]

Dread Pirate Roberts:

What? Where? I don't see anything.

Vizzini:

Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.

[Vizzini smirks]

Dread Pirate Roberts:

What's so funny?

Vizzini:

I'll tell you in a minute. First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours. [they drink]

Dread Pirate Roberts:

You guessed wrong.

Vizzini:

You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha--

[Vizzini stops suddenly, and falls dead to the right]

-The Princess Bride

At least Vizzini had the common decency to die quickly. Arafat still haunts.

Maariv: Kadoumi claims US and Israel behind Arafat's death:

PLO Foreign Minister says two countries conspired to kill him, accuses Israel of poisoning him and US of refusing to provide antidote.

Farouk Kadoumi, the veteran hard line Fatah leader, who has served for many years as the PLO’s foreign minister claims Israel and the US conspired to get rid of Arafat.

Speaking to the Arabic language daily Al-Bian he said that after having constantly failed in their attempts to kill Arafat, the two countries conspired to kill him. “The PLO has set up an investigative committee to examine all the evidence pointing to the conspiracy”, he said, admitting “that so far we have not succeeded in discovering how this was done, as no traces of any known toxin have been found”. ...

If you need a reminder of who Kadoumi (or Kaddoumi, or Kaddumi) is, check here and here. Don't forget who it is Israel has to "negotiate" with, even now. And, of course, Palestinian poll shows significant drop in support of terror...down to 41%. Oh, but the trends are good.

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