Amazon.com Widgets

Thursday, January 6, 2011

[By Barry Rubin, crossposted from The Rubin Report.]

As the proud owner of three cats (or vice-versa as it often seems), I have not yet deployed them for intelligence use. However, to read various Middle Eastern newspapers, you would think that Israel is the world leader in having animal espionage agents. This is my list so far but tell me if I'm missing anything:

Egypt: sharks (shark attacks in Red Sea blamed on Israeli effort to damage Egyptian tourism. Potential joke: What's next? Sending in lawyers?).

West Bank: snakes; wild boars (Israeli settlers allegedly release poison snakes and other animals to bite Palestinians. Potential joke: Still working on that one.).

Iran: squirrels (Mossad squirrels cross border to gather information. Potential joke: A good choice given the nuts running Iran's Islamist regime.)

Saudi Arabia: vultures (Vulture flies into Saudi airspace having been tagged in a migraiton study by Israel university. Potential joke: Maybe the vulture went to Saudi Arabia because he knows something about the Saudi monarchies future.).

East Jerusalem: poison-resistance rats allegedly to chase out Arab residents.

Here's a study on the issue, including the llama and antelope forces.

Possible future phony animal stories:

Israel mobilizes large, antlered mammal and changes name of intelligence agency to the Moose-ad.

Israel organizes attacks my massive female felines thus allowing Arabic headline writers to warn of the Zionist-lioness conspiracy

My advice is, stick to really "credible" propaganda like having one unidentified witness claiming Israel massacred hundreds at Jenin or insisting that a woman was killed at a demonstration by inhaling tear gas even though she wasn't even there and tear gas doesn't kill people.

Here are some other guidelines:

PART TWO: How to make up successful anti-Israel blood libels.

LESSON ONE: Use up-to-date, scientific-seeming falsehoods

Wrong way: Claim Israelis are passing out poison chewing gum.

Maybe: Claim Israelis are poisoning wells. Worked in Middle Ages but not so well when Suha Arafat said it to Hilary Clinton.

Right Way: Claim Israelis are firing phosphorus to burn up Gazans. Still nonsense but sounds more scientific.

LESSON TWO: Avoid outdated obviously antisemitic references and use sympathy-getting ones.

Wrong way: Claim that Jews are killing little children to turn them into matzohs. (Still plays in Saudi Arabia but not elsewhere.)

Maybe: Claim that Israelis are killing little children to use their organs. (Works in Sweden, Iran, Syria, and Turkey but not so good for most of the West.)

Right Way: Claim that Israelis are killing little children even if the kid moves on the video after he is supposedly dead, there's no blood, and a dozen more contradictions. (Excellent! Most people still think Muhammad al-Dura was murdered by Israel even after a French court ruled the story is ridiculous.)

LESSON THREE: Know your audience and adjust the message appropriately.

Arab/Muslim audience: Israel carried out the September 11 attacks, heroic Muslims carried out the September 11 attacks as part of the war against Israel (no need to choose one). Israel is an American stooge; America is an Israeli stooge (no need to choose one). Israel is the imperialistic state of evil Jews. Israel is blocking (choose one) a. The success of Arab nationalism creating a radical, anti-Western region. b. The success of revolutionary Islamism creating a radical, anti-Western, anti-Christian region. Israel should be wiped off the map.

European audience: Israel is an American stooge; Israel violates human rights.

Western mainstream audience: Israel violates human rights.

Western liberal/social democratic audience: Israel is right-wing.

American neo-fascist, antisemitic audience: America is an Israeli stooge.

Western Jewish audience: Israel is not perfect. (This is incredibly effective in many circles.)

SUMMARY

See, you have to have some minimally credible story to get all the world's most respected newspapers to repeat your lies without any evidence at all. But don't worry, that level of minimal credibility is really, really low.

"Syme: It's a beautiful thing, the destruction of words. You wouldn't have seen the [Newspeak] Dictionary 10th edition, would you Smith? It's that thick. [illustrates thickness with fingers] The 11th Edition will be that [narrows fingers] thick. Winston Smith: So, The Revolution will be complete when the language is perfect? Syme: The secret is to move from translation, to direct thought, to automatic response. No need for self-discipline. Language coming from here [the larynx], not from here [the brain]" -1984 (film)


Links



Blogroll Me!

:Blogs:
Adam Holland
Adloyada
Agam's Gecko
Amy Ridenour
Armies of Liberation
Astute Blogger
Backseat Blogger
Backspin
Barry Rubin
Blazing Cat Fur
BlueTruth
Boker tov, Boulder
Bosch Fawstin
Breath of the Beast
Challah Hu Akbar
CiF Watch
Cinnamon Stillwell
Classical Values
Combs Spouts Off
Conservative Grapevine
Conservative Oasis Contentions
Contentious Centrist
Cox & Forkum
Creeping Sharia
Dancing with Dogs
DANEgerus
Dave Bender
Davids Medienkritik
Dean Esmay
Defending Crusader
Democracy Project
Dodgeblogium
Dreams Into Lightning
Dutchblog Israel
Exit Zero
FresnoZionism
Ghost of a Flea
GM's Place
The God Blog
Huff-Po Monitor
Huff-Watch
Hyscience
In Context
Insignificant Thoughts
Iraq the Model
Israpundit
Israellycool
Israel Matzav
Israel Seen
J Street Jive
Jerusalem Diaries
Jerusalem Posts
Jewish State
JIDF
JPundit
Kesher Talk
Legal Insurrection
Liberty's Spirit
Marathon Pundit
The Marmot's Hole
Martin Kramer
Matthew K. Tabor
Mere Rhetoric
Michelle Malkin
Mick Hartley
Mind of Mog
My Machberet
My Wide Blue Seas
Never Yet Melted
Normblog
Omnia21
One Jerusalem
Paula Says
Philosemitism
Point of no Return
Political inSecurity
Random Thoughts
Ranting Sandmonkey
Red Planet Cartoons
Right Wing News
Roger L. Simon
Seraphic Secret
Shawarma Mayor
Shekel
Shining City
ShrinkWrapped
Simply Jews
Snapshots
Soccer Dad
A Soldier's Mother
Solomon's House
Something Something
Somewhere on A1A
Stand for Israel
Survival Tips: The Survivalist Blog
Tasty Infidelicacies
Tel Chai Nation
Texican Tattler
Themistocles' Shade
This Ain't Hell
TigerHawk
Tikkun Olam
Tom Glennon
Tools of Renewal
Tundra Tabloids
UCC Truths
Vicious Babushka
The View From Here
View From Iran
The World
Yaacov Lozowick
Yid With Lid
Yourish
Z-Word

:New England Blogs:
Alphecca
Augean Stables
Bebere
Bloodthirsty Liberal
Boston Maggie
Boston's Patriots
Boulevard Girl
Business of Life
Daniel in Brookline
Hub Blog
Hub Politics
Internet128
JRTelegraph
Jules Crittenden
Kavanna
Libertarian Leanings
Maggie's Farm
Miss Kelly
N.E. Republican
Neo-Neocon
People's Republicans
Petitedov
Pundit Review
Red Mass Group
Shawmut
Sippican Cottage
sisu
Squaring the Globe
Technicalities
Universal Hub
Weekend Pundit
Who Knew?




Blogroll Policy



If You Enjoy This Site
Paypal Donate

Amazon Purchase
(Buy yourself something with this link and I will get a percentage.)

My Amazon Wish List

Worth a Click

CJUI

APT

Graphics

Remember

Solomonia Button

Smaller Button

Smallest Button

Note on Permissions:
You may feel free to use anything you find on this site as long as you're not selling it. Just give credit where credit is due is all. Thanks for stopping by!

Site (C)2003-2009 Solomonia.com

This site will not display properly at screen resolutions of less than 1024px wide.

Solomonia Store


Search


Archives
Recommended

Authors

Solomon
Martin Solomon

MaryM
Mary Madigan

HillelS
Hillel Stavis

Binah
Binah

Jon Haber
Jon Haber

Sophia
Sophia

Opinions expressed are those of the individual. No one speaks for any organization unless expressly stated.

Subscribe
Enter your Email for a Daily Digest of New Posts


Preview | Powered by FeedBlitz
(Be sure to whitelist feedblitz@mail.feedblitz.com if you aren't receiving updates.)

Click here for other subscription options, including Twitter, AIM, MSM and others.


Follow me on Twitter

Solomonia


rdf
rss2
atom

 Subscribe in a reader

Banner

EN 160x600 B

Quality Diamond Crosses