[I keep telling Stavis he has to stop listening to NPR or go back on the blood pressure medication.-MS]

NPR Editor:
OK, we've got the bare bones of the story out of Fort Hood in Texas.  It seems that a Major there opened fire at a Soldier Readiness Center for guys to be shipped out to Iraq and Afghanistan, killed 12 and wounded 30 others. 
NPR Female Reporter:
Hey, wait a minute, were there any women there?
NPR  Editor:
Sorry, by "guys" I meant both sexes, of course.
NPR Female Reporter:
Noted.
NPR  Editor:
Let me continue.  Here's the way we're going to handle this story.  As in the past, the focus will be the backlash, in other words, the fears among the American Muslim community over discrimination, physical violence, hate emails, threatening telephone calls, and so on.  As for the victims, we'll find the minorities among them and go up close and personal.
NPR Male Reporter:
Who do we call first?
NPR  Editor:
First call CAIR, you know, the Council on American Islamic Relations
NPR Female Reporter:
Weren't they a recent unindicted co-conspirator in a trial down in Texas that convicted a bunch of terrorist funders?

NPR Male Reporter: And haven't a bunch of their officials been convicted of terrorist, excuse me, I meant, insurgent financing, like to Hamas and others?

NPR Editor:

Let's continue.  Contact CAIR and the Arab American Antidiscrimination Committee and get a log of recent threats to their members from right wing groups.  Better yet, get the Arabic-accented translator to read some hate mail and record it.

NPR Female Reporter: But we've already got lots of those from the Sergeant Akbar shooting from 2003, you know the guy who fragged his buddies.

NPR Male Reporter:  And don't forget the tapes we still have from the 9/11 stories about fear spreading in the Muslim community.  We could play the Annie de Franco interview from then about how American Imperialism was the root cause of the attacks.

NPR  Editor:

No. I don't think so.  We need something fresh and new. Besides, we never used those Akbar tapes.  Whatever you do, forget Akbar.   No relevance here.  And don't worry about authenticating the threats.  No one will care.

NPR Female Reporter:

Now what about PTSS?

NPR Male Reporter:

Oh yeah, Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.  He would be a prime candidate, except that he hadn't been shipped out yet.

NPR Female Reporter:

Well then, we could call it Pre Traumatic Stress Disorder. "The fear of future trauma traumatized him."  Our audience will understand.   Same acronym, saves re-editing.  Doesn't matter. We'll play it like this: "Major Hassan had long displayed reservations about going to the Middle East to potentially kill his fellow Muslims."

NPR  Editor:

Good, good. But add this: "He had long been the target of anti-Muslim discrimination exhibited by his fellow soldiers."

NPR Male Reporter:

Do we have corroboration?

NPR  Editor:

Don't sweat that.  CAIR will provide it.  They'll find some cracker who once shouted "rag head" or "camel jockey" at him.

NPR Female Reporter:

Just got an AP feed about Hassan being watched by the FBI for the last 6 months over his postings about suicide bombings being the equivalent of soldiers throwing themselves on hand grenades to save their comrades.

NPR  Editor:

Don't touch that.  The other outlets will cover it.

NPR Female Reporter:

But don't you think that might be central to motive?

NPR Editor:

We're not interested in motive.  We're interested in exposing discrimination.

NPR Female Reporter:

Wait up, what have we got here?  Just got another AP feed that says Hassan shouted "Allahu Akbar" as he was shooting.

 NPR Editor:

Forget about it.  Remember, "religion played no role in the violence".  That's the deal and we're not changing it.  Why do you think we have so many Dupont Silver Baton Awards lining the walls? Now, let's continue.  I want a team  out there ASAP in Texas to find out how many soldiers were shot by friendly fire and not by Hassan.

 NPR Male Reporter:

I'm on it.