Sunday, March 16, 2008
In a surprise move, US Presidential Candidate Barack Obama has announced his conversion to the religion of Islam.
"The Senator has decided to recite the Shihada and take reversion to Islam," explained Obama campaign spokesperson Meredith Baker. "This should have two benefits for our candidate. First, it will distance him once and for all from the inflammatory statements made by his United Church of Christ Pastor, as well as put to rest the questions as to whether Senator Obama may actually have been a Muslim. There is no question now, he is one."
Controversy has swirled around the candidate ever since statements made by his long-time Pastor and spiritual adviser, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, began making national news. In a written statement to the press, Senator Obama states:
"I hope to put this controversy behind me, and therefore, as of today, I would like it known that I have reverted to Islam, a religion with far less baggage and negative overtones toward America than Reverend Wright's Trinity UCC...
"...I would also like it known that from now on, I will be turning for spiritual guidance and advice to Sheik Youssef al-Qaradhawi, a man whose statements have been in the public eye for years and so must have been vetted far more completely than those of my former Reverend. They are also, from what I have seen, far less anti-American..."
"We shouldn't be having any further controversies over religion, " added Baker, who concluded the press conference: "the Senator would like it known that, though he spent 20 years in Reverend Wright's church, at no time did he inhale."
Satire, obviously. Sorry, I couldn't resist.
Update: Red Planet Cartoons:
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8 Comments
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Oh, come on, Solomon...give this a rest. This is unfair to Barack. I don't care about his pastor or his middle name.
Oh, I don't care much about his middle name, but I think his pastor is very relevant. It's outrageous, and it's not going away. It's exploded on him to such a degree (fair or not) he may as well have been a practicing Muslim all along (which is where the joke/satire comes in, but I guess it's not that funny if you have to explain it). Besides, you can't ignore this, and I've given Obama an almost free pass until now.
Of course, he never noticed in 20 years that Wright is a raging race-baiting antisemite. We shouldn't judge people by the company they keep...and keep and keep and keep and...
I heard it differently:
Obama Converts to Judaism
Bold Attempt to Settle Religion Issue
http://borowitzreport.com/
Buffeted by criticism of his controversial Christian pastor while continuing to quell rumors that he is a Muslim, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) took a bold step today to settle questions about his religious faith once and for all.
“I am converting to Judaism, effective immediately,” Mr. Obama told reporters at a press conference in Scarsdale, New York, adding that he would change his middle name from “Hussein” to “Murray.”
As a sign of commitment to his new faith, the Illinois Senator said that he anticipated being Bar Mitzvahed sometime between now and the crucial Pennsylvania primary and that he would no longer campaign on Saturdays.
In a subtle sign of the shift in his religious affiliation, Mr. Obama’s signature catchphrase “Yes, we can,” was nowhere to be found in his speech, replaced instead by “L’Chaim.”
While some political observers praised Mr. Obama’s conversion to Judaism as a shrewd tactic to put the issue of his religious identity to rest, the move raised the ire of one of his harshest critics, former Rep. Geradline Ferraro.
“Barack Murray Obama wouldn’t be in the position he’s in if he wasn’t Jewish,” said Ms. Ferraro to herself.
Ha! Borowitz is good.
Very funny, we all know the truth though. Too bad somebody is going to read this and take is seriously.
My American brothers and sisters.
I am as Indonesian really can not understand why Americans still quarrel around Obama religion.
I support Obama definitely.
As a person that has very diverse background religion and races like Obama make him a perfect personality.
He will not discriminate any races and religions.
Remember !
He will make more just and fair.
Find the best of America.
He is Obama
My American brothers and sisters.
I am as Indonesian really can not understand why Americans still quarrel around Obama religion.
I support Obama definitely.
As a person that has very diverse background religion and races like Obama make him a perfect personality.
He will not discriminate any races and religions.
Remember !
He will make more just and fair.
Find the best of America.
He is Obama