So here’s something that’s changed during the years since I stopped blogging. Apparently if you think that boys should use the boys’ room, and girls should use the girls’ room you are now a bigoted “homophobe.” No, seriously.
What we’ve got is a societal situation whereby some people, having determined that gender is purely socially designated (true to an extent, but overstated), have decided that all they need to do to change genders, and have their choice accepted without question by everyone else, is look in the mirror and say, for instance, “Today, my name is no longer Sam. It is Sally.” Bingo. Now everyone needs to accept it and treat you in kind.
You know what? That’s fine. No problem. It’s a free country. (Remember that old expression?) When it comes to yourself, you have full autonomy. And if my friend said to me, “Hey, I’m no longer Sam, I’m Sally and I’m a chick…” I’d go with it. No need to be rude, and no one should be mean to anyone else. It’s just considerate not to want to cause other human beings discomfort. Whatever they’re going through, they don’t need it made worse by me, and whoever they were before, they still are. I would hope they were getting the professional help they needed for the difficulties they’ve gone through and the difficulties they will face. Because they will face difficulties, no matter how “open and welcoming” they environment they inhabit is, they will face them.
Considerate. Consideration. Let’s think about that for a minute. We live in an age where an awful lot of people think the world revolves around them. They think the world should rearrange itself for their convenience. They even think that if they decide one day they’re a different gender, that everyone else has to not only accept it and treat them decent socially, but we should pretend we don’t know what we know, even to the point of convincing ourselves to join them in their newly constructed reality.
I think this is a product of a number of factors. Among them are the way all people are rightfully taught to strive to do good. Everyone wants to be the first person to speak out for Rosa Parks’s right to sit in the front of the bus. No one wants to imagine themselves as the bus driver. The trouble is that not every cause is so seminal. We’d all like to be heroes, but our opportunities for heroism are actually quite rare in life. And besides, truly heroic opportunities are also often dangerous and difficult. Yet our need to stoke the flames of our self-esteem is so strong it dictates we create them for ourselves. We elevate the quotidian to some great battle between good and evil, and social media makes it easy and pain-free.
Another factor, and I think this is another big factor, is just crappy parenting. Hint to parents: If you teach your kid that it’s the world’s job to adjust itself to them, rather than that they should adjust themselves to the world they find (or at least get ready to meet it half way), then you are creating a little monster who is destined for a life in loserville. Yes, even YOUR little
Considerate. Consideration. It goes both ways doesn’t it? No one will care if you look like a woman and use the ladies room and vice-versa. Contrary to critics of the North Carolina law, no one will be checking genitalia at the door. But if you don’t look like your “chosen” gender, then you are going to bother other people. You’re also going to be inconvenienced now and again. That’s life.
And forget bathrooms. How about locker rooms? Locker rooms where younger people of the opposite sex (in the objective sense) may be disrobing. You may just meet an angry father on your way out the door and you better have some quick and satisfying answers. And you know what? Nice guy that I am, even I couldn’t blame him. Hell, I might even be him. Any parent should.
It’s all perfectly reasonable dismay caused to perfectly nice, non-hateful, non-bigoted people. And all because some people have to demand acceptance of their definitions, their behaviors, their desired changes to fundamental societal norms without doing the hard work of actually convincing other people that the changes are warranted and that they should to go along with them.
Sloppy, fast cultural changes demanded by only a portion of our very diverse, wonderful nation, will natural lead to what are probably fairly sloppy laws aimed, after all, at little more than trying to find a way to allow us all to get along together decently and with a modicum of respect for one another.
And have no doubt, there’s a reason that there’s more than a whiff of fascism to these demands. In the same way that communist radicals will co-opt liberal organizations for their own purposes, riding herd on well intended people who have no idea that their good natures are merely being used by those with darker agendas who, if they were honest about their ultimate goals, would never have any success getting the mass of people to sign on…that’s exactly what’s going on here. There are people behind these moves who would love nothing more than to erase all differences between men and women (I know, since some of them are friends of mine), but if they just said it outright they’d be written off even by potential allies as going too far. So they don’t say that. They just move the posts and tell the suckers that it’s all about being nice, and being fair, and being “progressive,” even when ultimately, it’s not.
And as I finish, I’d also note how fascinating it is to me that so many of the people screaming “bigot” over laws like North Carolina’s screamed the loudest against Citizens United, even though, as far as I can see, that decision has amounted to a big zero in its effect on anything, yet they have no problem with mega-corporations threatening the livelihoods of people in entire states if they don’t get their way.
It’s not civil rights, it’s selfishness. There’s an awful lot of it going around these days.
The North Carolina Bill
Seattle man undresses in women’s locker room at local pool to test new transgender bathroom rule
Man Allowed to Use Women’s Locker Room at Swimming Pool Without Citing Gender Identity
LGBT Bathroom Hysteria Threatens North Carolina’s Economy
The Left’s New Battleground: Co-Ed Bathrooms
The True ‘Trauma Trigger’ That the North Carolina Bathroom Bill Is Designed to Prevent
North Carolina’s ‘bathroom’ law is about more than who’s in the next stall